Hey! I haven’t posted anything since school, wow. It’s August already! I can’t believe high school starts next month. I’m so nervous and excited at the same time; it’s so big and there’s going to be so many people. My summer isn’t going so great, I miss school a lot. I’ve been studying astronomy almost everyday, I love it. I really need to be studying algebra /: since it isn’t my best subject. I’m going to miss all my teachers from Moran. Gosh!…Well I’m going to go. Bye!
Sorry I haven’t been posting anything really, you guys. I didn’t really have a good week…(for the last month actually). I don’t think I can really say why because there’s a chance you wouldn’t care…But most of my friends know so that’s all that matters. I can tell you a little bit though..:
Okay, well there was someone I used to really like but now I don’t like him….I don’t like him with fury so passionate it hurts, but nobody believes me, and that conflicts the relationship I’m in now. I almost broke up/got broken up with many many times…almost like everyday. I just don’t like people right now..School is making it worse because all I want to do is just stay home and lay in bed (possibly cry) but school interferes with that. Ergh I’m just not happy.
Well, now you know a little bit. Bye. )’:
I like that word for some weird reason. Just saying, hah. It gives me a good feeling inside. People use it when they read my poems. So now I like that word.
To be brutally honest, I don’t care for nor do I believe in heroes. I don’t know why but I just feel that if someone saves your life, changes it or something, that doesn’t make them a hero. When I think of that word I never have a person in mind. To me, a hero would most likely be a fictitious figure, like Superman or something, who is not real. If someone is going to be a hero to me, they need to find something really spectacular to do because I wouldn’t be convinced otherwise.
Yesterday was my aunt’s birthday, so we all decided to go out to dinner. While I was putting on my makeup (and listening through the open bathroom door), I heard my whole family arguing just because my uncle forgot money. So then, I was like, “Are we going, because I’m hungry.” Obviously they ignored me, but it was worth the try. Anyways, it seemed clear that my aunt’s birthday was ruined. But, oh no it wasn’t. Everyone had to argue one last time before my mom’s boyfriend showed up. Luckily we left ten minutes after that. I was SO hungry. My aunt told my mom that she wanted to eat where my mom had recommended (I forgot the name). So we drove a whole hour and some minutes trying to find the place. When we got inside, my aunt was like, “Oh no, I don’t like sushi. Uh-uh, I don’t want to eat here.” So we all left because she didn’t like sushi, and they didn’t ONLY serve sushi! All tired and hungry, my mom drove us to the American Steakhouse (not one of my favorites) and goes to show, my aunt didn’t want to eat there either! So me, my mom and her boyfriend just ditched her and got some steak. Then my uncle called and was like, “We went to Denny’s!” OMG who gives up steak and goes to Denny’s! DENNY’S!?!?! Then the cutest thing happened. This lady was running around the restaurant telling people to clap for her when she proposed to her girlfriend. That was so sweet, but she didn’t use the appropriate words for a mostly children-based audience..But anyway, I clapped and screamed and stuff, it was a pretty fun night. =]
The rain is blue (some of you may say it’s “clear, but for this post it’s blue). So I’ve a poem for you all about rain =].
I stare out my window
Waiting for the rain
How I yearn for the thunder
That blows away my pain
I sit up straight
My smile spreads from ear to ear
I set my sights afar
The storm is coming near
Lightning strikes the center of the sky
This makes me float
Taking me high
A small pellet falls behind the glass
It moves in slow motion
Plowing the wood in great mass
My heart melts and my stomach drops
The world is mine
I’m on top
I stare out my window
Gazing at the rain
How I got what I always wanted
A day without the pain
I lay on my bed
Tears soft and warm
My happiness is gone
And so is the storm
But it’s raining forever
Everyday of the week
And this makes me weep
I hope forever will last
Just let the rain wash away my sadness
And let it wash away my past
hope you liked the poem.
Right now, I’m feeling……curious? Hah. I don’t know. But I keep thinking about Love. I feel so weak by it. I don’t think I’ve ever been in Love, but I have Loved someone (no names). I capitalize the word because I respect it. This thing we call Love is very powerful, and it’s so confusing. You think you’re feeling it with someone, so you just let your guard down, give them your all. But what you should be doing is putting them to the test. Yes, I said it. You want to know if you’re in Love? Test the guy/gal. Try and make them really angry! Put on the most horrible tantrums, be wild, outrageous. Can they take it? How do they feel? How do they react? I do this all the time. As you all know, I’m not the average apple from the bunch (???). But I make it clear how I feel at all times, I act weird and crazy. How do my friends react? They laugh and say, “That’s why we Love you!” See, Love isn’t just with that “significant other” *kissy face*. It can be with anyone. I already know which friends Love me, and which ones who are embarrassed by me. I know which friends I Love and which ones I don’t really care for. But with that *kissy face* Love, that’s different. I can’t tell you how it is…I can’t tell you what you feel (but I can about crushes). I do know that if you’re going to be in Love, you need to be prepared for the big BREAK UP. Get ready! Just be ready! That’s all I’m saying. If you are willing to..how do you say it…put yourself out there for that guy/gal, then you need to be at least a little prepared to break up. You guys may not feel the same way as you did in the beginning. I’m not saying be scared for your lives, I just don’t want you to be all depressed when they drop you. =] No hard feelings. Hey I’m writing a post on crushes..you thought I wouldn’t?
YES! We should definately be more democratic! It’s only fair if everyone is treated the same in America. For example, when Andrew Jackson forced the Native Americans off their land (Trail of Tears), that was really undemocratic. How can you force someone from their home, even though they were there first? It’s like going to somebody’s house and forcing them out and moving them somewhere so that there’s less people like them. To me, this is kind of like the Holocaust, not as harsh and brutal, but very similar because it’s as if Andrew just wanted to get rid of the people who were different. Being democratic means treating everyone the same, and making things better for everyone and pushing someone away, demolishing everything that they were is just the opposite. So should we be more democratic? I think so.
Last night I was talking to my friend on the phone and he was like, “word?” and I was like, “word.” but then I noticed I shouldn’t be saying that because I don’t sound right. Hah, my “word” is usually “dude” or “duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude” So yeah, that was my conversation. LOL.
<[(o_o)]> oh yahh.
Okay so I was listening to my iPod and there was this song that I really liked but then I just quit listening to it. OH MY GEEZ! I can’t even get past the first verse without crying, I swear. It’s so hard to explain. I just wrote this essay on how music inspires me and so on, you should read it lol. But anyways, I just started crying (no emotion involved). It wasn’t like sobbing and like “why me!?” stuff, but there was some tear action. Then I got this feeling in my tummy that I usually get when I think of “someone”. So I was like “OH MY GEEZ it’s because of him! But oh no, it wasn’t, it was of someone ELSE! It was a 2 year crush nobody knew about (the only thing I ever kept to myself, minus my new 2 secrets I let out today =]). I just cut off any relationship we had, then I cried for like the whole year, I was so depressed. So I’m realzing that the only reason of why I quit talking to him was because I was scared I might lose him (separation issues). So now we’re like really close again, but I seem to be more reluctant to get any closer. Get it? This is so weird. This is why I love music lol.
Oh the song is Thunder by Boys Like Girls. Sad song for me.